Double Vision: Dreaming that Departed Loved Ones are Really Alive

Dear Susyn and Oceania:

My grandmother died of cancer on January 15, 2008. I was extremely attached to her and saw her as my mother. We had a deep bond and when she died I felt as though she took part of me with her and I kept part of her here with me. I dream about her often, and am wondering if she is visiting me in these dreams. I have a reoccurring dream where she shows up at my aunt’s house (which was her house before she passed). She is my bedroom doorway and I am in total shock, saying I have missed you so much I thought you were dead! She does not respond to this, she just smiles and hugs me and acts like nothing ever happened. I also have had dreams where she calls me and tells me that she is still alive. My brother has had dreams where he wakes up in the middle of the night thinking there is an intruder in his home and gets his gun and goes searching through the house and goes into the basement, only to find it is her hiding in our house as if she never passed on. I often get the feeling she is looking over me and protecting me but I am just so unsure so I would like another opinion. What do these dreams mean? Is she visiting me and my brother in our dreams? Is she watching over and protecting me? Thank you for taking the time to read and respond, it means a lot.

Brittany

Susyn’s Answer:

Your grandmother has never left your side and is most assuredly visiting both you and your brother through your dreams. Although she has left the physical plane, her soul continues to remain close to you and all her loved ones.

It must be very comforting when your grandmother pops up at your aunt’s house as if nothing has happened in these dreams. The dream phone calls in which she tells you that she is still alive are indicative of the fact that she still exists and is reaching out to you from a different realm. You can’t see or touch her, but you can sense her spirit and hear her voice clearly. It is her way of letting you know that, despite all evidence to the contrary, she remains close by, watching over and protecting you.

I am certain that she sends you additional signs during your waking hours, so watch for certain aromas, music or flowers that trigger memories of her. You may feel a sudden breeze or hot and cold temperature changes for no apparent reason. When this happens, it is proof that she is around.

Your brother’s dreams are quite telling as well. He and your grandmother may not have been as close to each other as you were. The dreams in which he hears noises and goes in search of an intruder, only to find your grandmother hiding in the basement, suggest that he may not be as open to the idea of her spirit visiting him. Perhaps when he was growing up they used to play hide and seek games, and that is why she does this in his dreams. Perhaps she is wary of unnerving him, so she lets him seek her out.

When our loved ones die, they do not just disappear; many remain close to us to watch over and protect us. Some people refuse to believe in spirit contact, but for those of us who have been exposed to it firsthand, as you and your brother have, the experience is very real. You can trust what your instincts are telling you. In fact, the more you trust them, the more contact your grandmother can make with you.

When you have one of these dreams or sense her spirit around you during the day, this is the perfect time to stop and visit with her. If there are things you would like to share, questions you want to ask, or you simply want to tell her how much you love her, now is the time to do it. Of course, you don’t have to wait for this to happen; you can call her spirit to you through prayer and meditation whenver you desire. I recommend a channeling session with a psychic if you would like even more communication and validation that she is near.

-Susyn

Oceania’s Answer:

I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother, who was clearly a mother to you. What you wrote about loss is true: A part of us goes with the person who dies, and a part of them stays here with us.

I don’t know if your grandmother is visiting you in your dreams, but I do know your dreams are part of your grieving process. In one dream, you’re able to freely express your truth about how much you have missed her. It’s a refreshing feeling when we can be honest and genuine with someone, as you could be with your grandmother. I recommend that you join a grief group where you can safely process and honor your emotions, and be heard and accepted in return. It’s important that you find other people you can be truthful with.

Your wise unconscious mind comforts you with recurring dreams about your grandmother’s smiles and hugs. Her warm and affectionate nature clearly enriched your life. You need to talk about how much she meant to you, which is another reason a grief group would be beneficial. It’s also important to find other people whose smiles and hugs you can enjoy.

Dreams of the deceased calling to say they’re alive are very common when we’re grieving, for we try to alleviate our emotional pain by imagining that our loved one is still alive. As your brother is experiencing a similar dream, he would probably be a good person for you to grieve with. I recommend the two of you look through old photographs of your grandmother and share memories of her.

Of course you yearn to have her back, but it’s in the natural order of things that grandparents and parents pass before we do. In their wake, we have an opportunity to parent ourselves. It seems that something prevented your biological mother from mothering you. Perhaps she died young or was unavailable to you due to illness, addiction or other circumstances. What a blessing that you had a grandmother who could fill your mother’s shoes! It’s very possible you have some grief work to do about your mother as well.

Your mother’s absence or dysfunction likely prevented you from internalizing and developing your own strong inner mother, which may have left you overly dependent upon your grandmother. You might now turn to a therapist or a reader here to serve as a surrogate mom, and also strengthen your ties with your female friends. I’m certain your grandmother is watching over and protecting you, but your task at hand is to develop your own maternal energy so that you can directly nurture and comfort yourself.

-Laurie

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