I've been on a conscious spiritual path for a long time, but recently, things have really picked up, and I've gotten more involved in spiritual groups, classes and activities. My husband doesn't share my interests, and that was always fine by me, as I figured we all have our own paths. Now, however, he seems to be jealous of my spiritual friends and activities. When I talk to him about these matters, he isn't really interested. When I don't talk to him about all that I'm involved in, however, he says I leave him out. When I take him along into spiritual arenas, he acts different: distant, cold, uninterested - which of course makes it hard for me to relax and enjoy myself. He only goes to spend time with me; not because he wants to be there (which I thought was sweet). Lately he's even begun to mock me a bit - to make fun of my spiritual beliefs - which is causing me to pull away from him. I know this attitude is driven by his jealousy, but I don't know what to do about it. We're growing further and further apart. I am okay with him not being into my spiritual path, but as it takes over more and more of my life, I can see us naturally growing apart, since he can't or won't join me. We have tremendous difficulty communicating at an emotional level, as he gets very angry or defensive. Any suggestions or advice? - Beth
Dreamchaser:
Beth, I think your situation is addressed in the Bible: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers." I was raised Southern Baptist, and was taught that phrase meant not to marry people who were not Southern Baptist, or I would burn in Hell. As I grew older and wiser, however, I realized that the phrase refers to situations like yours. It is very hard to make a relationship work when one person is adverse to the other's beliefs.
Your husband gets defensive because he feels inferior now. He feels that you are going to find new friends and maybe even a new man who knows more or acts differently than he does, and you are going to choose that man over him. He is afraid that your relationship will change. He was really happy with the way things were before. As you change, he starts to feel insecure because he is not sure where these changes are leading you and how your new path will affect HIM.
I think you need to tell HIM everything that you just told us. You two need to sit down and communicate about how you feel. Explain to him that he is driving a big wedge into your relationship. Also explain to him that you would rather go and do these things alone, as you know he does not understand. Stress the fact that you realize he was going along for you and you appreciate that, but you will no longer subject him to the gatherings, etc.
In turn, ask him to allow you to do your thing without making constant comments. Express how you feel when he makes fun of you. You haven't spoken your feelings clearly. Without open and honest communication, NO relationship can last. We speak openly with family, friends and coworkers, but when it comes to "love," we close up and become afraid to say anything to that person. We are afraid of angering or losing them, appearing desperate and needy, etc.
You two can work this out, but you have to communicate your individual fears to each other. Of course it would be easier to live with someone who is like-minded, but it is not absolutely necessary as long as you each allow the other their "thing."
I wish you continued enlightenment in a safe and comfortable environment.
*****
Astrea:
I see a huge hunger for spiritual awakening in the world right now. Every person's spiritual beliefs are unique and personal, and tied to the very core of "who they are." We thus all have some big fears and emotions tied into sharing our beliefs with others. In many ways, we all have to walk our spiritual paths alone.
Speaking about yourself in terms of the God in you is getting easier and more important to you, but is impossible for your husband right now. Even if he was walking through processes similar to what you are feeling and going through, he has no frame of reference for expressing that to you. I feel that he might want to take what you are doing and apply it to his own life, but it's so difficult for him to EXPRESS this that he seems to be dismissing it instead of taking you seriously.
The mocking and taunting he's doing comes from nothing but his fear that he is going to completely lose you to this path. You wrote, "as this takes over more and more of my life" - to HIM, that means "as she is slipping further away from me." So it's natural for him to have SOME jealous feelings. Please try to get him to talk to you about this. If he won't, then try to get him to speak to someone else he can trust. He resents the time you are spending away from him, and it's coming through in those words and actions.
It would be a shame for you to have to leave him behind, but if he can't become more interested in what you're doing, and if it's not going to be an important part of his life, then you will have to think about leaving him. He is barely surviving emotionally because he won't let this Harmony come into his life. Some people never want that, but I believe if you can spend a little more time with him for now, and maybe a little LESS time on yourself and your own growth, you'll be able to find a good compromise that will save your relationship.
If you are on a true Spiritual Path, then his resentment won't bother you, because you'll find that the answer is to meet his resentment with Love. Once you begin to do that and become more understanding of HIS needs, this problem will disappear.
Astrea:
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.