– Elizabeth Gilbert
It requires extraordinary courage to be who we really are instead of who we think the people we care about want us to be, but it’s the only way to create truly fulfilling relationships that are built to last. If I had to list the one key difference between my first (miserable) marriage and my current (profoundly happy) one, it would be this: In my first marriage, I was forever trying to be what I assumed my husband wanted me to be, which just created tension, distance, and disconnection. Though I adore my current husband and naturally want him to adore me back, by the time he came along, I had learned my lesson. Though I was nervous to let him see all my mishaps, cranky moods, scars and wrinkles in the stark morning light, I knew that if he didn’t love me for ME, there was no way we could last. Since being wholly myself is by far the smartest thing I have done in the name of love, I encourage you to do the same. If a friend or lover rejects you for who you really are, you’ll do more than survive: you’ll be set free to find someone who is a much better match for you.