She's "Under His Spell," One Way or Another

loveattractslove

My name is Catherine, and I was born 7/13/69. I’ve been dating Juan, who was born 12/18/67. We’ve been dating for approximately 3 1/2 years. Although I’ve broken up with this man three times, and the last time I thought it was for good, somehow we ended up together again. We’re not getting closer, yet we still keep coming together. A spiritual counselor told me he put a spell on me. I want to be rid of him once and for all, but something always draws me back. He is not a good influence on my life, and has no aspirations. I just want to move on with my life, but I can’t break away. Can you help me get rid of him once and for all?

 – Catherine

Dreamchaser:

You don’t have a spell on you, Catherine, so top looking outside for a reason you keep going back; look on the inside instead.

You go back. No one forces you. It’s a cycle. You leave, he comes crying and begging and saying he will change, and you go back. You leave to get a reaction out of him, and he responds so you are happy and go back. Life returns to normal and you start wanting his attention again. So the cycle continues. You two have broken up more than three times. You had three actual separations, but there have been many more ups and downs here.

You need to look at this honestly and ask yourself what need is fulfilled when you two reconcile. Then ask yourself how you can get that need fulfilled in a healthier way. You also need to ask yourself what he does and does not fulfill for you in your daily life.

You can do a whole lot better than him, Catherine. That is what prompts your unhappiness in the first place. He has sucked all the life that you used to have right out of you. You don’t need an excuse to walk away at this point, though God knows he has given you about a million over years. I want you to look back 30 days on the calendar. How many days out of those 30 did you cry over something that he did or said? Now ask yourself if that is normal, or in any way the kind of life you want.

If you really want to walk away from him, then walk away from him. Do not answer the phone. Do not answer the door. Explain to him that you are leaving him and you do not want him back. Don’t accept any type of communication with him. It seems to be easy for some men to pour on the charm and say just the right thing to make women think that they have changed. He has not changed. He will not change. Nothing he can say is anything that you have not already heard a lot of times. Stay away from him and do not let him talk to you. That is the only way you are going to be able to get free of him.

If you walk away from him and stay gone, you can and will have a man who treats you as you deserve to be treated. I have no doubt about that. You can be happy; you simply have to choose happiness.

I want to reiterate that you do not have a spell on you, but just to satisfy your own mind, repeat after me: “I appeal to the God to remove any negative spells or intentions that I may have attached to me. Thank you.”  That will do it. Now live long and prosper.

I wish you bliss.

*****

Astrea:

It would be too easy to blame your unhappiness on a spell. Sometimes we need to believe we’re out of control and at the mercy of outside forces that can control our feelings, but that doesn’t happen in real life. We make choices and we pay the price for those choices. There isn’t any kind of spell on you. Even if someone tried that, it wouldn’t work.

Three and a half years is a very long time to spend with someone you feel is not good for you. No spell I’ve ever heard of would keep a negative relationship going that long. The person who told you that you were helpless and under Juan’s spell obviously was just looking for an easy answer so that you would fork over some cash.

Beware of any psychic who tells you something like that. I’ve heard many horror stories over the years about paying someone to break a spell. Usually this ends up hurting the person seeking help in her bank account, and does nothing to alleviate the actual toxic situation. You have enough to deal with in your life without having an unscrupulous phony reader take you for a ride financially, too!

Do you like feeling frightened and under a spell? I think you’re ready to take control of your own life and see where that kind of power will take you! Don’t buy into this nonsense. You’re a smart, strong young woman with your whole life ahead of you. Three years can turn into 30 if you let it. Have an honest and frank talk with Juan about what you want and expect from this relationship. If he doesn’t feel he can meet your needs, it’s, “Goodbye, Juan, and don’t let the door hit you on your way out!” That may be all he needs to hear to start working with you on the kind of happy, healthy partnership you really want.

It’s only human to look for those easy answers: “I have bad Karma” or “I have bad luck with guys” or “Someone put a spell on me.” You’re the only person who can decide what you’ll think, say and do, and you’re the only one who can create real change in your life.

People do what they want to do. The problem here is that you don’t really want to be away from Juan. You might really, truly love the guy, warts and all!  After all this time together, you don’t want to break up with him, you want him to change. The way to make that happen is for the two of you to get some competent couples counseling. It’s time to find out if he is capable of helping you create a healthier relationship.