I have a stepson I just can't seem to warm up to. He lives a ways away with his mother, and we get him for a good six weeks in the summer and every other Christmas and spring break. I don't know why I can't warm up to him, for I've certainly tried. He's now 13 years old, and I have been married to his father for four years. From the start, he's just gotten on my nerves. He seems to like me, and I have fine relationships with his older sisters, who are 15 and 21 now. Could my feelings stem from past life experiences, or am I just not being nice? I try so hard to like him, and I am very kind to him and considerate when he is with us. I feel bad for feeling this way. I want to understand why I feel like this and what I can do to get past it. My birth date is 8/5/52 and his is 10/24/92.
Dreamchaser:
You have no reason to feel bad about your feelings towards your stepson. There are just some people in this world that rub us the wrong way. You are nice to him and treat him kindly when he is around. If you were mean and nasty when he came to visit, that would be a different story.
I do believe your issues stem from not only one past life, but from quite a few. I think you two are members of the same "soul family." There is this pack of souls that go from life to life with us. We learn from each other and they come with us in various forms in various lives. He was an enemy, a lover, a friend, a parent and a sibling of yours in prior lives. The emotions that you INSTANTLY felt towards him when you first met are a direct result of prior life experiences.
You need to stop feeling bad about your feelings towards him. Guilt is not good for anyone. You feel INCREDIBLY guilty, and of course you hope no one figures out how you feel, especially your husband. Don't worry - no one can see through your kindness towards the boy. This is a soul thing.
To be honest, though he seems to like you, your stepson is not very fond of you either. Though you are always kind to him, everyone else likes you, and his dad loves you, he feels the same thing you do. He feels as uncomfortable around you as you feel around him. He does not feel guilty about it, however. He just figures that you are his stepmother, and kids are not always expected to get along with their stepparents.
I do not know that there is any way for you to get past this. As he grows and evolves, he will change his demeanor and attitude. That may help you learn to like him as times goes by. At this point, however, I don't think you can MAKE yourself like him. You have been trying to do that.
If you want something new to TRY, you can ask the Universe to take away the negativity you have about him, and ask that it be replaced with feelings of tolerance, acceptance and love.
Because of the past life stuff between you two, I can't promise it will work, but you sure can try it. It will also make you feel less helpless where this situation is concerned. I know you would LOVE to get along better with him, and at least this would make you feel like you are working on that.
In the mean time, just try to make peace with yourself and your feelings about him. Sometimes we just have to accept how things are, even if we classify them as "bad."
I wish you peace with this situation.
*****
Astrea:
At times, all of us meet people we just don't like for one reason or another. Your problems with your stepson do not stem from anything in a past life, though I have seen that happen hundreds of times. The issues that you have with him are more astrological, and have a whole LOT to do with him living with his mother. That combination can't be easy for anyone.
As a Scorpio, he is naturally suspicious of anyone and everyone. That's a characteristic of that sign that can turn into full blown paranoia if it's allowed to fester and bloom!
It's not just you - he treats his dad the same way too. Dad is more equipped to handle it since they are blood relations, but it's harder for you. You want to be nice to him, but he just flat out rubs you the wrong way.
As a Leo, I know you're a consummate actress, and I know that you can keep up the facade for your husband's sake. It's difficult because the kid's mind is being poisoned against you by his mother breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is absolutely, positively, NOTHING you can do about her.
He's her baby, and he reports everything back to her that happens in your home. Then she twists things around to try to avenge all the wrongs she imagines your sweet husband did to her, and that attitude comes through in his aura whether you are able to actually see that or not.
As a sunny Leo, you feel that there is not a single person on Earth you can't manage to like. Even psychiatrists tell us that is just impossible, and that one in three people we meet will rub us the wrong way for one reason or another. Even close blood relatives can do that, so don't beat yourself up for being unenlightened just because you have a natural ability to read the boy's aura and it puts you off.
You seem to be able to overlook what he puts out and love him for who he is: your husband's son. As he gets older, he won't get more peaceful, because Scorpios are running a thousand miles per minute, but YOU will become more peaceful with the vibrations you pick up around him.
Sometimes we can never love signs that conflict with ours, but when he's old enough to figure out what his mother has been doing, he'll change his attitude, and you'll be able to be close to him just like you are your husband's two girls. He does love you, even though he can't like you, and I know your feelings for him are mutual.
Just try to roll with it and keep the peace for now ñ it will pay off for you a million times later on.