Double Vision: Please Don’t Dream About Me!

scaredwomanDear Double Vision:
I have a friend I dated a few times a couple years ago. I don’t know his birth date, but mine is 8/12/54. He continues to contact me sporadically. He claims we were together in a past life in the 1800s in Britain. I don’t remember that lifetime with him, but I do remember another lifetime with him. In that lifetime he tried to force information from me, but I refused and committed suicide to keep him from being able to use this important information to do bad things. He says his dreams about our previous lifetime are getting more vivid.

It seems like I rarely dream, however. I’m wondering if his having highly charged (some are sexual) dreams involving me can PREVENT me from dreaming. I find it hard to believe that I never dream, but even if I am suddenly awakened, I don’t usually remember dreaming. I have tried to prevent him from pulling me into his dreams, as I don’t like the nature of what he tells me about them, but the harder I try to block his ability to pull me in, the more vivid his dreams get. What do you suggest I do to prevent this in the future? Does this affect my energy on any level? Can his dreams of me affect me or harm me? Thanks for any insights you can offer!


Patty, the first point I have to make here is that you do dream. Everyone dreams. As I have stated many times here, when we sleep, our souls leave our bodies to work on recovering from today and preparing for tomorrow.

Dreams are memories of that work that are given to us in ways that our human mind can decipher. I hardly ever remember dreams, but I know that I am dreaming. If I do remember one, it is usually a nightmare. Some people remember all their dreams, while others like you and me hardly ever remember one. There is no right way or wrong way to dream. We do not have to try to control our dreams, unless of course we are students of Lucid Dreaming – but that is another column.

I don’t think this man is on the up and up. I think his soul and your soul have some dark karma to work through. Just the lifetime you remember alone is enough to show us that he is trying to control you. You say that you have tried to prevent him from pulling you into his dreams, but the more you resist, the more he relishes telling you about them.

This is not A Nightmare on Elm Street, Patty. No one can pull us into their dreams without us allowing them to do so. Also, since you do not remember any of these dreams, I very seriously doubt that this man is pulling you into HIS dreams at all. What he IS doing is having a wonderful time telling you things that shock you. The more you resist, the more things happen in his dreams. That behavior is predatory and disturbing.

The only thing about this man that affects your energy level is his presence in your life. He is in no way, shape or form good for you. He feeds off your energy and he enjoys your shock and discomfort when you react to his dream stories. He loves to tell you about past lives when he controlled you. That is a keyword about your relationship with him: CONTROL. You have none, and he wants it all. It is time for you to get control BACK. His dreams or his stories about them cannot harm you (except emotionally). Nevertheless, this is not a positive relationship, as he does not respect your free will.

I recommend you disconnect from this man as soon as possible. Anyone who goes against your free will in ANY way is not good for you, unless of course it is a doctor trying to treat you and you don’t want him pulling on your broken arm or some situation like that. This man does not respect the boundaries that you have put up. You will never be able to have a functional relationship with someone like this. Walk away from him NOW. I wish you tranquility.


Over and over in my work, people tell me about their vivid dreams. Whether they remember them correctly or not, they believe that they do for the most part. Dreams are glimpses into what we desire (wish fulfillment) or what we miss (communicating with dead loved ones) or what we fear (anxiety dreams). However, I have seen time and time again that people will concoct deep and meaningful dreams about intended targets of affection. That’s what this guy is doing now.

No one can influence what you dream WHILE you are dreaming. None of us can control what we dream without many years of practice and study, and most of the time, not even then! Also, you can’t prevent someone else from bringing you into his dreams. You don’t control another person’s subconscious any more than they control yours. Dreams come from suggestions that our minds receive while we’re awake. He WANTS you to dream about him, so he keeps telling you these tales. He wants to dream about you, so he does – or THINKS that he does.

I doubt he’s being honest, especially about the sexual content of his dreams. Perhaps he wants to believe this is what his dreams contain, so he projects that into his waking memories of them. He’s using this as a way to GET to you, and from your letter, it looks like it is working.

If you don’t want to be with him again, now is the time to cut him permanently out of your life. Listening to this junk that he is most likely making up isn’t good for you. This is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL you’re enduring with this person, and for no good reason at all. He upsets you by telling you these things. I know this is easier said than done, but it doesn’t sound to me like you want him in your life. Let him go bother someone else!

This is the kind of person who will ride this dead horse to the fair if you let him! Don’t allow him to tell you any more of these silly dreams. Don’t talk to him anymore at all. He’ll say or do anything to control you. He THINKS he loves you.

The reason you’re not remembering your dreams now, Leo, is because you’re not sleeping very well. We all go through periods of lucid dreaming and not-so-lucid dreaming. Because you’re so overwhelmed by the lies this person is feeding you, your subconscious isn’t able to create dreams that you can consciously access and reconstruct. Once you’re totally away from him, out of contact with him and sleeping better, your regular dream cycle will return. Then you can get that restful, dream-rich sleep that we all need to rejuvenate our bodies and spirits.

[title size=”5″]The above column is from our archives, which we are gradually rebuilding here. Though Dreamchaser and Astrea are no longer with us, their wisdom lives on![/title]

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