Dear Double Vision:
I have performed many readings for myself, and I always get the same answer. It’s an answer that I want: that I will be with someone (a current friend) in a romantic way, but it will take time. My problem is that I have been doing these readings on and off for about three years, and they are all still saying the same thing, but as yet, it hasn’t happened. What is happening here? Are my faith and patience being tested in a major way or what? I am beginning to get quite discouraged, and am thinking that it will never happen. Am I fooling myself? What is your view on this? Thank you!
In my experience, it is very difficult to read for oneself. In fact, I highly advise against it. It is not that your faith and patience are being tested; the reason you are not getting clear-cut answers and results is because you are emotionally attached to receiving certain answers and not others. Every time you try to do a reading on this subject, your mind searches for any and all indications of hope, and ignores any signs that might predict a different outcome than the one you think you want.
I’ve also found that when we ask the same question over and over, tarot cards (or whichever method of divination we are using) will tend give us the same answer. It’s not that the cards are trying to deceive us; they simply reflect the Universal law that
if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Another thing to consider is how you are asking the question. If your query isn’t phrased carefully, the answers you receive can be misleading. For example, if you are asking if you and this person will ever have any sort of romantic connection, your question is very broad in scope. In answering in the affirmative, the cards could be picking up on a relationship you may have in a future life, or even tapping into the romantic relationship you have already formed with him in your own mind and heart.
My advice is to stop trying to read for yourself in this situation. It is too personal, so the information you receive will be colored by your strong desire. If you are ready to hear the truth about the situation, then it’s time to get a professional psychic reading from someone who is objective and not personally invested in certain answers. All of the psychics at Kajama are highly gifted; any one of them could examine the situation and advise you on how to move forward to create the love you long for in your life.
Perhaps there are things you need to do or change first to bring this relationship into being. It’s possible that you are creating blocks to the advancement of this romance, and aren’t aware of it. This is where another psychic or spiritual advisor can come in handy.
It could be that Spirit has a better partner in mind for you. If this is the case, it’s better to find out now than to spend another three years waiting for something to happen. The main thing to keep in mind is that continuing to hope and wait is not bringing you what you want.
Your gifts as a reader can be put to their best use when you interpret the cards for someone else. To gain the most clarity about this situation and discover how to change it, I recommend you open up to hearing what someone who is not emotionally attached to the outcome has to say.
Our personal agendas can influence our interpretations of the cards when doing readings for ourselves, so it was wise of you to seek outside input. I recommend that you follow up further with a trusted reader or counselor. (I intentionally left friend off the list because friends often tell us what we want to hear.)
Guidance via tarot is often more useful when interpreted in a general way as opposed to a narrow, specific way. The same holds true when we’re trying to manifest something, as it’s important to allow Spirit or our Higher Selves some wiggle room to participate. The limitations of our egos can prevent us from seeing the big picture.
You might open up to finding a healthy life partner instead of zeroing in on one particular man to fill the spot. Obsessing on ONE candidate is an example of the limited perspective of our egos. I hear many people say,
But I don’t WANT anyone else – until they meet that someone else, who turns out to be better than they could have ever imagined. Humbleness and the willingness to release our agendas are essential relationship tools; they keep us from becoming grumpy when things unfold differently than we hoped. Being cheerful is an essential trait for building a happy, healthy relationship.
I’ll bet that if you were to make a list of what you wanted in a life partner, you would include,
He wants to be with me NOW! Your friend does not want to be with you now, so he really doesn’t fit your bill. This brings up another important issue: When we get obsessed with a person who is unavailable, it raises the question of whether WE are truly ready for partnership. The answer is likely NO.
You may be hiding out from love through this obsession! By focusing on someone unavailable, you allow yourself to remain in the realm of fantasy relationships where everything is easy and beautiful. A real relationship can be hard work, because any painful, unfinished business you may be lugging around from early childhood will surely arise as you create a new family with your beloved in the present.
I invite you to get into some therapy and figure out WHY you may be hiding out. Challenge yourself to face your relationship fears. Instead of waiting for your friend to get ready, get ready yourself! For all I know, he IS your life partner, but you’re not doing the work you need to do to prepare for the level of love and commitment you desire.
While we have no power to control other people, we CAN influence them, and the best way for you to influence someone great to fall in love with you is to quit doing tarot readings and take action to prepare yourself for big love.
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