- Double Vision: Spell for Breaking Free of Relationship Stagnation?
I have been dating my boyfriend for six years now, and we’ve been engaged for three years. My family and our friends keep asking us when we’re getting married, and if it was up to me, it would have happened a long time ago. My boyfriend, however, seems to be nervous about it, and always finds some way to not get locked into a specific date. I’m 29 now, and 30 is right around the corner. I’m wondering what’s really going on with him, and if I’m being a fool. Am I wasting my youth (and my best childbearing years) on this guy? I am ready to walk away if he is never going to really get married, because if he can’t give me all of his heart, what’s the point? We are happy together – he just seems to be afraid of taking this final step. When I try to talk to him about it, he assures me there is nothing going on, that he’s just busy, or this or that or the other thing. Do you have a spell or some other spiritual tool I can use to break free of this stagnation and move forward one way or another? Thanks, I love your column!
First, why do you think that you do not have all his heart right now? Does one have to be married to give someone all of their heart?
He loves you. You yourself said things are fine. You two have a GOOD relationship. He proposed because you were pushing to get married and he felt if he did not propose, you would walk. He does not want to lose you, but he also does not want to get married.
There are some people in this world (and I am one of them) who do not believe in marriage. Marriage is an antiquated, old-fashioned, outdated ideal. Women do not need a man for financial security, and men do not need a woman to take care of the house anymore. Our roles have changed greatly in the last 100 years.
Your man is afraid of marriage. He has seen friends who had great relationships get married and then have their relationships fall apart. He does not want to lose you. He is afraid if you two get married, your relationship will implode as well. I want to say for the record that people like me who do not believe in marriage can ABSOLUTELY believe in love and monogamy. Just because I don’t want to marry a man doesn’t mean I don’t want to love, honor, support and care for him.
Your man is the same way. He loves and supports you, but he’s really afraid of stepping into something he considers relationship doom.
If you want to get married to bear children, it’s time you dump this man and move on to find someone who ...