- Double Vision: Where is the Love?
After ten years plus on this spiritual journey, I find myself riddled with more confusion and questions than ever. Here’s one: If positive thinking and purity of heart is our natural state, then why is it so difficult to overcome our negativity? Once we realize our natural state, shouldn’t it just become natural? I was raised in a family and social environment that destroyed my self-esteem and emotional stability, but I worked hard to overcome my issues and grow. Oddly, the more I sought change, the more I lost. This includes losing some fantastic people I loved. If these people loved me then, and I was working on becoming a better person, why would they fall away? Wouldn’t “the Universe” seek to keep me surrounded with love? After all this time, I am still pushing that stone up the mountain. Why does it feel heavier and more impossible to push? Throughout, my intention has been to align with Spirit, do better and be a better person. Time and time again, I slip back into my old habits and feel so weak or abandoned by Spirit. If I desire to be “awake,” then why doesn’t “the Universe” acknowledge that desire with support? Millions of people are still “asleep” and I choose to awaken – why isn’t this act blessed in and of itself? Mostly, I have found myself completely alone on this journey. It is often sad and painful. My prayers are not being answered. Moreover, though I’ve discovered what I am meant to do in life creatively, I have found no success doing it. As the song says, “Where is the Love?” Thanks for reading.
Thank you for bringing this issue to light. Every person who has ever walked this path has felt exactly like you do time and time again.
One of the most common assumptions about adopting a spiritual path is the idea that things will get easier. That is a profound misconception, for instead, things tend to get harder because you have to experience more challenges in order to grow more than people who choose to stay “unenlightened.”
Did you begin this path to get rewards? Did you assume that just because you were living “right,” you would enjoy a trouble free life? I say this all the time, but Jesus Christ was homeless and got murdered at a young age. There are many examples in whatever “Bible” you follow of great suffering while traveling the “path.” At the same time, you have to remember that there is also great joy mentioned.
I explain all the time that life is like a spiral, not an upward climb. As we grow, we move around the spiral. As we learn, we move to a new level. For example, when we are done learning all the first grade lessons, we get promoted to the second grade. We are still learning all ...