Last April, my best friend passed from health problems dating back to childhood. I often have dreams about him, and in them he tells me about times when he was standing next to me throughout my life. This last dream hurt me deeply. In the dream, we were in a desert-like area. It was very dark with muted colors and dry air. Everyone there had no face and strange mannerisms. Joe (my friend who passed) ran up to me and we hugged and I cried harder than I ever have in a dream before. We embraced for a long time and he told me things that made me feel good. He then said he had to go, and left in quite a hurry. He tried to contact me later in the dream through my cell phone, but the call came up scrambled letters and numbers, and when I heard his voice, it was distant and soft. He said he was in a place that was dark and he was lying down and couldn't get up. I didn't understand. I tried looking for him and I couldn't find him. Someone came to me (looking back, I think it was my spirit guide) and told me Joe had tried to escape to come and see me but he was pulled back. I was even shown the escape route he tried to use and what had malfunctioned. I usually feel him with me and near me at all times. Since this dream, I worry and fear he's not with me, that his soul is lost in some other dimension. Was this dream real?

-Tara

Dear Tara,

The dream was both a dream and real to you at the time. While parts of it come from your own fear and confusion, some of the elements in the dream you had about Joe are true reflections of where he is and what he's doing. Your friend's soul is resting, but he is not lost.

Unless the circumstances are too much for the living people left behind to tolerate, Souls who have passed over may take one to five years to be able to return. Some never return. Some occasionally come into dreams that haunt us, as I am sure that dream haunts you. Often, our loved ones bring us messages from our Guides or feelings from Beyond. As time goes by, our dreams of these departed souls tend to become more positive, and communication tends to grow easier and easier.

Often a soul will appear in a desert-like place if it is troubled, isn't aware of its death, or fought death in order to protect others. A sense of dryness is the overall feeling most people get from dreams of this nature. Souls who appear in this desert-like place in dreams are on temporary furlough from reviewing their last life and discovering where they will choose to spend their next incarnation, whether it's Celestial or Earthly.

This place of faceless people interacting with departed souls is a common area. Not being able to see their faces is naturally disconcerting, as is the desert-like landscape of the dream. Your friend was trying to tell you that he isn't happy with his current soul state of death.

This is not uncommon. Many of us respond with our own fear and confusion at the point of death because for some reason, we feel we don't deserve paradise. Each one of us takes our own time to discover that we do.

The dark place you see means he is resting. It's not dark so much as it is pleasantly cool and without any light to bother the Soul in Transition. Your friend is seeing his incarnation and maybe other incarnations as well, in sort of a movie format. The so-called escape reflects his desire to avoid this whole process. Facing everything is difficult but it must be done before he can move on.

Finally, your best friend is always with you as long as you need him to be. I call on mine less frequently these days, as it's been quite a few years since they left the Earth Plane. I think things get better with time. Everyone tells me so.

Always try to see the positive in your dreams of him. He's fine. You'll be able to see him in a happy place again very soon.

Susyn responds:

Dear Tara,

Dreams can hold many subconscious messages and are also known for their ability to address our deepest fears. When we have dreams that are haunting or disturbing, our minds are trying to release what we fear most.

Though your friend has crossed over, you have the rare ability to talk and spend time with him just as you did when he was alive. This is a wonderful gift! Because it can seem ethereal given the fact that you both reside in different realms, it is natural for you to fear that it will cease. This fear is compounded by the fact that you did lose him in his physical form when he passed away from health problems.

This dream had you reliving this loss in a more spiritual way. Not only did it reveal just how close the two of you are, you were shown the escape route he tried to use and told that he was held back. The message that he was in a dark place, lying down and could not get up, may have signified his physical burial, which was for you like reliving the first time you lost each other.

There is no need to worry that he is lost or not with you. When we are used to feeling a loved one’s spirit near us and then it stops, we are usually the ones blocking it via fear or misunderstanding. He remains near you and all you need to do to reconnect is relax and trust that this dream was only a subconscious replay in symbolic form of the physical connection that was lost to you.

Although it is true that you both reside in different realms, your dreams will contain images that are familiar to you, while what he experiences may be very different. The description of the place you reunited with each other - an arid, desert-like wasteland with muted colors and vague faces - simply represents the ethereal nature of the world he now resides in as your mind understands it.

The fact that he could call you on your cell phone but you could not return the call because of the garbled numbers speaks to the fact that it is easier for him to contact you than for you to contact him.

Keep in mind that as you both evolve in this new realm, your friend will discover a variety of ways to let you know he is near. Some spirits use scents, animals and sounds as signals, depending on their level of mastery of the spirit world.

When you do feel disconnected from him, you need only look within to see what fears or concerns may be blocking you. Once you relax, your awareness will return, and you’ll be able to sense his presence again.