My ex was born on the cusp of Aries/Taurus (April 20) and I was born on April 11. I was told by a psychic that we were soul mates in a previous life. I do feel a connection with him, but we spend so much time arguing and fighting that I wonder if she is really correct. I asked her to tell me if we were going to get married, but she said she couldn’t see that, but she said if I did decide to make a life with him, he would try. I was left confused: shouldn’t she able to tell me if we are going to end up together? Sometimes he makes me feel so miserable, I wonder if I would ever even want to be married to him, but then other times I am convinced he is “the one.” Is it worth holding on to this dream? Can soul mates make us miserable? – Paulette
Dreamchaser:
I am so glad you asked this! So many people are under the false assumption that finding your soul mate means “happily ever after.” I have no idea where that comes from, except maybe for the fairy tales we are all force fed as children. You know: the Prince comes and kisses the Princess and they live happily ever after in a castle.
Well, in reality, sometimes the Prince’s breath smells, we have to go to work to pay the bills for the castle, and there are no fairy godmothers, singing mice or sewing birds to help with the day-to-day chores. That is when we realize that even though we may have found true love, we still have to deal with real life.
Another false assumption is that when we find a soul mate, we will never ever split up. Many times we or the other person may choose to walk away from the relationship for various reasons. Sometimes it is because everything that needed to be done karmically was done. Sometimes it is because the person picked up a bad habit of some kind, or changed in some fashion that we cannot tolerate. Sometimes the relationship is just a bad choice and a big mistake.
There are so many different reasons relationships break up. I always say we get approximately five soul mates per lifetime – contingency plans, so to speak. So when a psychic tells you that someone is your soul mate, that does not mean that he is your one and only, and you better not mess it up. It just means that you two have an extraordinary connection and it is worth trying to foster it, provided that the other person is also on board.
Those we love the most can also hurt us the most, so of course soul mates will hurt you. Everyone will hurt you sooner or later in this life. It is not realistic to expect to live a life free from all hurt and suffering.
No one can tell you without a doubt if you will end up with someone or not. Both people in a relationship have free will. Either of you can exercise that free will at any time. Sometimes it is very clear which direction the relationship is heading, and your psychic will be able to say so. At other times, the decisions are not yet made, and no one can see the outcome. A reputable psychic will explain to you that he/she does not know the outcome and why. Psychic are not all-knowing. We can only see what can be seen, and not even God can predict an undecided outcome.
I wish you authentic love.
*****
Astrea:
If I believed that we only had one soul mate for every incarnation, I would be very upset. The universe presents us with choices to make as we seek our own happiness and our own joys. Many people will come in and out of our lives who could be soul mate material. We’ve been with some of these people in past lives, and others are new to our experience. The choices we make determine whether or not that person becomes a life partner.
Just because a psychic says that you’re soul mates doesn’t make it true! Do you know how often that person has been right about the soul mate question for other people? What is her track record for accuracy? Do you feel that she knows both of you well enough to make that assumption? If you just had one isolated reading with her, she was probably doing the best job for you that she could, with very limited knowledge of your situation. If she was an astrologer and familiar with both of your charts, I doubt that she would have seen you as soul mates. I could see you as friends and maybe even siblings in some past lives, but not romantically involved.
Two Aries people in a relationship form a bond that is so intense that a psychic might mistake that powerful energy for a soul connection. I know that if partners are very alike, sometimes that hurts more than it helps.
Contrast is a good thing in relationships. If you have the same idea all the time, but see different approaches to your goals, that could pose some major difficulties. While there is a deep level of understanding, there are also impediments because of the feelings that stopped between you. Neither of you would want to seem weak to the other. Your Aries sun sometimes causes you to hold your feelings in, and not express them. That leads to the kind of conversations that often develop into arguments.
People who sincerely love one another do what it takes to stay together, even if that means changing their values and points of view. I can’t see you getting married or staying together forever, but if you can agree to try to work this out between you, perhaps going to a counselor would give you someone you could bounce your concerns off. Don’t try to force yourselves into anything out of fear that you won’t get another chance at big love. There are plenty of potential soul mates out there for each of you!